35 - The Ring

Released 30/01/2017

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

This week, the Diminishing Returns gang dig up a time-capsule in the form of this episode of the show that was recorded in October 2016 to coincide with the release of the new entry in the The Ring franchise: Rings. When Rings was delayed to 2017, so, too, was this episode which covers every film in the franchise to date, as well as all of the Japanese The Grudge (or as they're known in their native language, Ju-On) movies.

Films covered in this episode:

Ringu
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Rasen
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 60%

Ring 2 (1999)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 35%

Ring 0: Birthday
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 30%

Sadako 3D
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

Sadako 2 3D
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

The Ring (2002)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

The Ring 2 (2005)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 35%

We review Rings in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

If you enjoyed this episode, you might also be interested in:
"It Follows"

34 - Resident Evil

Released 23/01/2017 as “Resident Evil: Retribution”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In one corner, we have Calvin, who loves these films. In the other corner, we have Sol, who considers them to be the worst film-franchise of all time, and Allen, who watched them for the first time in order to record this episode. If you think things got heated when Calvin and Allen went head-to-head over Suicide Squad, you ain't heard nothing yet!
In anticipation(?) of Resident Evil: The FInal Chapter (not to mention the game Resident Evil VII: Biohazard), this episode covers the Resident Evil franchise starting with the eponymous 1996 video game, covering the doomed George A. Romero adaptation that never was and, then, making the usual discussion "pit-stops" at Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction and Resident Evil: Afterlife before landing on Resident Evil: Retribution, which gets the usual Diminishing Returns sequel-pitch treatment.

Films covered in this episode:

Resident Evil
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ½
Overall score: 37%

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ½
Overall score: 37%

Resident Evil: Extinction
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 50%

Resident Evil: Afterlife
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ½
Overall score: 40%

Resident Evil: Retribution
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 30%

We review Resident Evil: The Final Chapter in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

33 - M. Night Shyamalan season: The Happening

M. Night Shyamalan season:
Part 1: "Unbreakable"
Part 2: "The Village"
Part 3: "The Happening"

Released 16/01/2017

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

The third part of any trilogy is almost always the weakest, but in this, the conclusion of the Diminishing Returns M. Night Shyamalan season, we continue to buck trends with, quite possibly, the strongest episode in the series - well, it's because it's more fun to complain about bad films than praise the good ones, isn't it?

Though the focus of this episode and its sequel pitches are on The Happening, it also covers The Lady in the Water, The Last Airbender, Devil, After Earth, The Visit and the upcoming Split.

Films covered in this episode:

The Lady in the Water
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

The Happening
Allen: ½
Calvin: ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 17%

The Last Airbender
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 27%

Devil
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

After Earth
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 47%

The Visit
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Episodes covering the work of M. Night Shyamalan:
"M. Night Shyamalan season: Unbreakable"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Village"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Happening"

We review Split in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

Allen's review of Split

Cut material from this episode's recording session can be heard in:
"So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show"

32 - M. Night Shyamalan season: The Village

M. Night Shyamalan season:
Part 1: "Unbreakable"
Part 2: "The Village"
Part 3: "The Happening"

Released 09/01/2017

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In anticipation of the master(?) of suspense's upcoming film, Split, M. Night Shyamalan season continues with a look at Signs and The Village, the latter of which also gets the Diminishing Returns sequel-pitch treatment.

Films covered in this episode:

Signs
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

The Village
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Episodes covering the work of M. Night Shyamalan:
"M. Night Shyamalan season: Unbreakable"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Village"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Happening"

We review Split in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

Allen's review of Split

31 - M. Night Shyamalan season: Unbreakable

M. Night Shyamalan season:
Part 1: "Unbreakable"
Part 2: "The Village"
Part 3: "The Happening"

Released 02/01/2017

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns bring you an episode on M. Night Shyamalan! Yes, in anticipation of the director/writer/sort-of-actor-but-not-really's upcoming film: Split, Diminishing Returns brings you M. Night Shyamalan season. Over the next three weeks, Diminishing Returns shall chronicle the meteoric rise and fall of the career of the infamous film-maker. In this, part 1, we look at M. Night's early work, making pit-stops at Praying with Anger, Wide Awake and The Sixth Sense before diving into Sol's favourite entry in the man's filmography: Unbreakable, a film in which Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson deconstructed the superhero genre before it had been constructed.
And, as usual, the gang top things off by pitching their own ideas for sequels.

Films covered in this episode:

Praying with Anger
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 60%

Wide Awake
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 55%

The Sixth Sense
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 77%

Stuart Little
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

Unbreakable
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 84%

Episodes covering the work of M. Night Shyamalan:
"M. Night Shyamalan season: Unbreakable"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Village"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Happening"

We review Split in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

Allen's review of Split

Cut material from this episode's recording session can be heard in:
"So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show"

30 - Review of the Year 2016

Released 26/12/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

It's Boxing Day, and in less than a week, it'll be 2017, so why not get comfy in your favourite chair, help yourself to a nice plate of Christmas leftovers and recover from yesterday's antics with a nice, relaxing Diminishing Returns? Well, we say "relaxing", but this one gets pretty full-on at times as film-Scrooge, Allen Turing, repeatedly butts heads with Calvin and Sol regarding the movie offerings of 2016.

This is a retrospective episode of the show, looking back at the last 29 editions of the podcast, and that essentially means that we cover a whole heap of films listed below (and more).

Films covered in this episode:

Finding Dory
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Independence Day: Resurgence
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 50%

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 77%

Ghostbusters (2016)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Star Trek Beyond
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Jason Bourne
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 40%

Suicide Squad
Allen: ✰ ✰ (revised from original score of ✰ ✰ ✰ ½)
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 37%

David Brent: Life on the Road
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

Ben-Hur (2016)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 40%

Bridget Jones's Baby
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 80%

Ash vs Evil Dead (season 2)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Allen: ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ (rated in subsequent review of the year episode)
Overall score: 37%

Inferno
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 50%

Doctor Strange
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Moana
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 84%

This episode is a continuation of the following episodes:
"Finding Nemo"
"Independence Day"
"Absolutely Fabulous"
"Ghostbusters II"
"Star Trek Into Darkness"
"The Bourne Legacy"
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"
"The Office"
"Ben-Hur"
"Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason"
"Evil Dead"
"Tim Burton"
"The Da Vinci Code"
"Iron Man"
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2"
"Frozen"

Some discussion from this episode is continued in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

Review of the Year episodes:
"Review of the Year 2016"
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"
"Review of the Year 2018: Part 1"

29 - It's a Wonderful Life

Released 19/12/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

It's the Diminishing Returns Holiday Special, so gather your family around the fireplace and sit down to enjoy a festive feast of film discussion, ideas for sequels to It's a Wonderful Life and general Christmas cheer. Merry Christmas!

Films covered in this episode:

It's a Wonderful Life
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 87%

Calvin with his Postman Pat Transformer Christmas gift.

Allen with his Christmas gift: a lump of coal.

Diminishing Returns Christmas Specials:
"It's a Wonderful Life"
"Love Actually"

Cut material from this episode's recording session can be heard in:
"So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show"

28 - Star Wars

Released 12/12/2016 as “Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns finally take on the grandfather of franchise-filmmaking with a look at the original Star Wars trilogy and their own ideas for Star Wars sequels. The prequels and The Force Awakens are briefly touched on, but the real focus of this episode is Episodes IV through VI (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi). Those other films will have to wait until the next Star Wars episode.

Films covered in this episode:

Star Wars (1977)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 77%

We review Rogue One in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

Allen's review of Rogue One

Episodes in the Star Wars series:
"The Star Wars Trilogy"
"The Prequel Trilogy"
"Rogue One"
"The Force Awakens"

27 - Black Christmas

Released 05/12/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

What better film to get you into the festive spirit than this horror classic in which a senseless killer harasses and murders his way through a sorority house? If you can think of a better way to honour the birth of baby Jesus, then the Diminishing Returns gang would like to hear it.

As usual, they discuss the film (1974's Black Christmas) before pitching their own ideas for sequels.

Films covered in this episode:

Black Christmas (1974)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Black Christmas (2006)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 50%

26 - Roar

Released 28/11/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

This episode of the podcast explores the little known, 1981 film Roar, in which Noel Marshall, Tippi Hedren and Melanie Griffith spend an hour and a half surrounded by lions, tigers and other assorted big cats before learning to be a family again. It was a movie produced by, essentially, throwing a load of actors and lions into a house together and filming what happened. The end result is every bit as fascinating as you'd expect and, as usual, Calvin, Allen and Sol are on hand to talk you through it before pitching their own takes for how you could follow such a unique piece of cinema up with a sequel.

Films covered in this episode:

Roar
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Fans of Allen's Jaws crossover pitch may want to check out:
"Jaws"

25 - Frozen

Released 21/11/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

With Moana soon upon us, Diminishing Returns attempt to fathom the mammoth cultural and financial success of Disney's 53rd "classic", Frozen. As usual, things culminate with each of the gang pitching their own idea for a sequel, but not before Allen tries his usual schtick of attempting to sap the fun out of everything. Don't worry, though; he fails.

Films covered in this episode:

Frozen (2013)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

We review Moana in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Moana

You may also be interested in:
"Live-Action Disney Remakes"

24 - Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Released 14/11/2016 as “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2“

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Since making its debut almost 20 years ago, Harry Potter has shoe-horned itself into books, movies, video games, websites, stage-plays and, now, episodes of the Diminishing Returns podcast. With the impending release of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the gang take a look at the Potter movie franchise and pitch their own takes on a 9th movie set in the wizarding world.

Films covered in this episode:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 65%

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 67%

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 65%

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

We review Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

We directly continue the discussion of film-scores started in this episode in:
"Pirates of the Caribbean"
and
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

23 - Jaws

Released 07/11/2016 as “Jaws: The Revenge”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

You yell "barracuda", everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell "shark", we've got a new episode of Diminishing Returns on our hands, in which Calvin, Sol and Allen talk through the Jaws movies, culminating in 1987's infamous Jaws: The Revenge, before pitching how they'd continue the franchise.

Films covered in this episode:

Jaws
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 87%

Jaws 2
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

Jaws 3-D
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 37%

Jaws: The Revenge
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 34%

Allen pitches a Jaws crossover movie in:
"Roar"

22 - Halloween

Released 31/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

What better film to discuss in the first Halloween episode of Diminishing Returns than John Carpenter's iconic, 1978 slasher movie of the same name?
Listeners beware; you're in for a scare!

(Special thanks to xDimebagx for creating the ambient soundscape used in the opening sequence).

Films covered in this episode:

(NOTE: Many of these ratings were subsequently revised in Halloween II)

Halloween (1978)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Halloween II (1981)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 55%

Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 40%

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 60%

Halloween 5
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 40%

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 30%

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 80%

Halloween: Resurrection
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 50%

Halloween (2007)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 35%

Halloween II (2009)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

Episodes in the Halloween series:
”Halloween”
”Halloween II”

Diminishing Returns Halloween Specials:
”Halloween”
”Podcast of Horror II: The Blair Witch Project”

21 - Iron Man

Released 24/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Diminishing Returns cast their minds back to 2008; a simpler time in which superheros weren't constantly venn diagraming around and getting up in each other's faces all the time. What would a sequel to Iron Man look like without our modern notions of shared universes?

Films covered in this episode:

Iron Man
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

We review Doctor Strange in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Allen's review of Doctor Strange

Episodes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe series:
"Iron Man"
"Guardians of the Galaxy"
"Spider-Man"
"Thor"
"Captain America: The First Avenger"
"The Avengers"
"Ant-Man"

20 - Goldfinger

Released 17/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

We were going to do an episode about The Ring this week, but then Rings got delayed until 2017, so here's another James Bond episode instead.

Films covered in this episode:

Goldfinger
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

Episodes in the James Bond series:
"Dr. No"
"From Russia with Love"
"Goldfinger"
"Thunderball"
"You Only Live Twice"
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
"Diamonds Are Forever"
"Live and Let Die"
“The Man with the Golden Gun”
“The Spy Who Loved Me”

19 - The Da Vinci Code

Released 10/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In which the Diminishing Returns trio seek to uncover the truth about how to best sequelise the film adaptation of 2003 best-selling novel: The Da Vinci Code.

Films covered in this episode:

The Da Vinci Code
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 54%

Angels & Demons
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: n/s
Overall score: 60%

We review Inferno in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Sol's pitch is a spiritual sequel to his pitch in:
"Finding Nemo"

Allen's review of Inferno

18 - Super Mario Bros.

Released 03/10/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Not content with trying something new last time, this episode sees the gang pitching how to adapt the Super Mario Bros. games to the big screen.

Films covered in this episode:

Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 44%

17 - Tim Burton

Released 26/09/2016

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

In another slightly format-bending episode, Diminishing Returns take a look at the career of Tim Burton, all the way from his early short films up to the upcoming Miss Peregrine's House of Weird Kids. Instead of pitching sequels, Allen, Calvin and Sol pitch what they would like to see Tim pick up as his next project.

Films covered in this episode:

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 70%

Beetlejuice
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

Edward Scissorhands
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 84%

The Nightmare Before Christmas
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 90%

Ed Wood
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 90%

Mars Attacks!
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 60%

Sleepy Hollow
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Planet of the Apes (2001)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

Big Fish
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Corpse Bride
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 67%

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 30%

Dark Shadows
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

Frankenweenie (2012)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Big Eyes
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

We review Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children in:
"Review of the Year 2016"
...and again in...
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 1"

We revisit Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes in:
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

Allen's review of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

16 - The Evil Dead

Released 19/09/2016 as “Evil Dead”

This classic episode is in the Diminishing Returns vault. Sign up to our Patreon for as little as £1 to access our back-catalogue episodes!

Season 2 of the wonderful Ash vs Evil Dead will soon be upon us. In anticipation, the gang take a whistle-stop tour of the franchise, then pitch their own ideas for new Evil Dead movies. Groovy.

Films covered in this episode:

The Evil Dead (1981)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Evil Dead II
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 70%

Army of Darkness
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 75%

Evil Dead (2013)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Ash vs Evil Dead (season 1)
Allen: n/s
Calvin: n/s
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 100%

The Evil Dead Drinking Game

As discussed in this episode, these are the rules for the drinking game you should play whilst watching The Evil Dead Trilogy:

1. Drink whenever Ash is hit or physically abused in some capacity.

2. Drink every time someone says a cheesy one-liner.

3. Drink every time a bodily fluid is on screen.

4. When the film shows you a geyser of blood, down your drink.

We review Ash vs Evil Dead season 2 in:
"Review of the Year 2016"

Related Episodes:
"Spider-Man"