75 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Films covered in this episode:

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 54%

We've covered the original Connery run of Bond movies. Now it's time to look at George Lazenby's short-lived turn in those spy shoes. Is Lazenby any good? Is "Bond" a codename? Is the world ready for a fat James Bond? All these questions and more are answered in this week's edition of Diminishing Returns!

This episode also features The Big Bond Theme Quiz. Will Allen successfully identify the official James Bond music from the spoofs and imitations? Listen to find out!

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The James Bond Music Quiz

If you haven't listened to the episode yet, then don't read ahead as the following is a list of answers for the James Bond music quiz. If, however, you listened to it, liked the sound of one of those songs and want to go and listen to the full version, here's a reference list to help you out:

Practice question 1. "Theme from Spy Hard" by 'Weird Al' Yankovich (from the movie Spy Hard)
Practice question 2. "We Have All the Time in the World" by Louis Armstrong (from the movie On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
Practice question 3. "Suantum of Quolace" by Joe Cornish (from the radio show Adam & Joe)

1. "Operation Kid Brother" by Christy (from the movie Operation Kid Brother)
2. "Cat People"  by Electric Six (from the album Mimicry and Memories)
3. "Good Sign, Bad Sign" by Monty Norman (from the unproduced stage musical A House for Mr. Biswas)
4. "Li Xiang" by Stephen Chow (from the movie From Beijing with Love)
5. "For Your Eyes Only" by Blondie (rejected Bond theme for For Your Eyes Only)
6. "Thunderball" by Johnny Cash (rejected Bond theme for Thunderball)
7. "Goldfinger" by Peter Serafinowicz as Ringo Starr (spoof rejected Bond theme from the TV series The Peter Serafinowicz Show)
8. "Theme from Hot Fuzz" by David Arnold (from the movie Hot Fuzz)
9. "Nobody Does It Better" by Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge (from the TV series I'm Alan Partridge)
10. "Fuckin' in Another Man's Clothes" by Electric Six (from the album Mimicry and Memories)
11. "Millennium" by Robbie Williams (from the album I've Been Expecting You)
12. "An Omen of Things to Come" by Electric Six (from the album Roulette Stars of Metro Detroit)
13. "Supremacy" by Muse (from the album The 2nd Law)
14. "SPECTRE" by Radiohead (rejected Bond theme for SPECTRE)
15. "Beautiful Stranger" by Madonna (from the movie Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)
16. "Title Theme" from the video game Spy Muppets: License to Croak
17. "Snake Eater" by Cynthia Harrell (from the video game Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater)
18. "If You're Gonna" by Natasha Bedingfield (from the video game GoldenEye: Rogue Agent)
19. "Danger! High Voltage" by Electric Six (from the album Fire)
20. "Devil May Care" by SAL (from the audiobook Devil May Care)

Episodes in the James Bond series:
"Dr. No"
"From Russia with Love"
"Goldfinger"
"Thunderball"
"You Only Live Twice"
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
"Diamonds Are Forever"
"Live and Let Die"
”The Man with the Golden Gun”
”The Spy Who Loved Me”

74 - Podcast of Horror II: The Blair Witch Project (with Ed Sanchez)

Guest: Ed Sanchez

Films covered in this episode:

The Blair Witch Project
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 87%

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
Allen: ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 34%

Blair Witch
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

It's the 2nd Diminishing Returns Halloween special!

We've done this two years running, so it's now officially an annual tradition. Celebrate with us by listening as we discuss and review The Blair Witch Project, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 and 2016's Blair Witch (the third one with a similar name to the first one).

Not only do we do the usual thing of pitching our own ideas for what the next sequel should be, but we also listen to some audio clips from the DVD commentaries and we take the time to chat to Ed Sanchez (who directed the first film with Daniel Myrick). Ed offers some fantastic insight into how the film was made, what he's been up to since and drops some hints about the possible future of the franchise.

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Diminishing Returns Halloween specials:
2016 - "Halloween"
2017 - "The Blair Witch Project"

73 - Thor

It's another Marvel episode. We've done Iron Man and Guardians of the Galaxy; this time, it's Thor and Thor: The Dark World. You know the drill.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Films covered in this episode:

Thor
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Thor: The Dark World
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 50%

Episodes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe series:
"Iron Man"
"Guardians of the Galaxy"
"Spider-Man"
"Thor"
"Captain America: The First Avenger"
"The Avengers"
"Ant-Man"

We review Thor: Ragnarok in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

72 - Saw

Covered in this episode:

Saw
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 54%

Saw II
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 54%

Saw III
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Saw IV
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰
Overall score: 37%

Saw V
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 40%

Saw VI
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰
Overall score: 57%

Saw 3D
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 47%

It's still October, so it's still the run-up to Halloween so we're still indulging in celebrating horror franchises! Hot on the heels of last week's episode covering the 6-part Child's Play series, we're now taking a look at the even larger Saw franchise spanning seven movies from Saw to Saw 3D, all in the run-up to the new film, kickstarting the franchise: Jigsaw.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

We review Saw in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

71 - Child's Play

In movie circles, October is basically just "horror month". We get our horror month off to a great start with this episode; a restrospective of the Child's Play (aka Chucky) series.
As always, as well as weighing in on the films, we pitch our own ideas for sequels to the long-running series sequels.

Listen on:
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Covered in this episode:

Child's Play
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 64%

Child's Play 2
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 54%

Child's Play 3
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 47%

Bride of Chucky
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 67%

Seed of Chucky
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Curse of Chucky
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 57%

We review Cult of Chucky in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

69 - The Godfather

Covered in this episode:

The Godfather
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

The Godfather: Part II
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

The Godfather: Part III
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

In a bid to do something special for the 69th edition of Diminishing Returns, we bring you an episode covering The Godfather, often regarded as the greatest film ever made. We also cover The Godfather: Part II, also often regarded as the greatest film ever made. Oh, and The Godfather: Part III, extremely rarely regarded as the greatest film ever made.
This may go down as the most controversial episode of the show's run because... let's just say maybe we don't all love the series...

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68 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

This ought to tide the Bond fans over for a little while: an episode covering 2014's Kingsman: The Secret Service and looking forward to Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Given Calvin's tastes, it's safe to assume that James Bond comes up a lot in this episode, alongside Colin Firth, Matthew Vaughn, Samuel L. Jackson and a whole heap of other things.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Covered in this episode:

Kingsman: The Secret Service
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 74%

You might also enjoy our previous James Bond episode:
"You Only Live Twice"

We review Kingsman: The Golden Circle in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

67 - The LEGO Batman Movie

Covered in this episode:

The LEGO Batman Movie
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

But we haven't done The LEGO Movie yet!

It's fine. It's fine. We're doing LEGO Batman first. It's more fun. Yes, this week, we're looking at, reviewing and pitching sequels to The LEGO Batman Movie, tying into the upcoming release of the upcoming The LEGO Ninjago Movie.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

You may also be interested in our episodes covering the DC Extended Universe series:
"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice"
"Suicide Squad"

We review The LEGO Ninjago Movie in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

66 - It

Covered in this episode:

It (mini-series)
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 45%

In anticipation of the new film adaptation of Stephen King's 1986 novel, It, we take a look at the book, a look at the 1990 mini-series (or TV movie, depending on who you ask) and, of course, the upcoming film that will be swapping Tim Curry for Bill Skarsgård as Pennywise, "the dancing clown".
This episode is absolutely full of Tim Curry and full of clowns.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

We review It in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

65 - Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

Diminishing Returns takes a break from the summer blockbusters to go back two decades and dig out the old VHS tapes of Beavis and Butt-Head. The leap from small to large screen has rarely been handled with greater skill but the young reprobates may not be to everyone's taste.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Covered in this episode:

Beavis and Butt-Head (series)
Allen: n/a
Calvin: n/a
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

64 - Death Note

Films covered in this episode:

Death Note (series)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 80%

Death Note (2006 movie)
Allen: n/a
Calvin: n/a
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Death Note: The Last Name
Allen: n/a
Calvin: n/a
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

L: Change the World
Allen: n/a
Calvin: n/a
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 50%

Death Note: Light Up the New World
Allen: n/a
Calvin: n/a
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

With Netflix's upcoming American adaptation of the Death Note manga, we take a look at the four Japanese movies and the TV series before, as always, pitching our own ideas for Death Note sequels.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

We review the new Death Note film in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

63 - The Shallows

Films covered in this episode:

The Shallows
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

We already did Jaws, Ted! It's a different film! It's a very different film! It's a different shark!

This week, we explore Blake Lively vehicle, The Shallows, directed by Juame Collett-Serra, then pitch our own sequels with ideas ranging from a Speed knock-off to something involving Gary Lineker going on a crisp safari... well, sort of.

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62 - Crank

This week, things get frantic as we look at the high-octane, Jason Statham action-movies, Crank and Crank: High Voltage. For once, Calvin has his derogatory hat on, as he takes Allen and Sol to task for liking the films. Imagine our Transformers episode in reverse.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Films covered in this episode:

Crank
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Crank: High Voltage
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

61 - You Only Live Twice

Films covered in this episode:

You Only Live Twice
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 64%

The long-awaited return to the James Bond franchise is finally here... and without wanting to sound as arrogant as Bond, himself, it might just be the best episode of the show to date. We give you some in-depth film chat, some particularly high-calibre pitches for sequels to You Only Live Twice, and, because it's a special occasion, a whopping 15 special guest stars! This one should tide you over until we do On Her Majesty's Secret Service very nicely.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud
Stitcher
PlayerFM

Episodes in the James Bond series:
"Dr. No"
"From Russia with Love"
"Goldfinger"
"Thunderball"
"You Only Live Twice"
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
"Diamonds Are Forever"
"Live and Let Die"
”The Man with the Golden Gun”
”The Spy Who Loved Me”

60 - So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show

We typically spend somewhere between 3-5 hours recording episodes of the show. As you've heard, this is then edited down into something (usually) under 2 hours. We cut a lot of good stuff for the sake of time or purely because we're going off on too much of a tangent, so in this episode, please enjoy a whole load of all-new material that was cut from some of our classic episodes.

Listen on:
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SoundCloud

This episode contains outtakes from:
"It's a Wonderful Life"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: Unbreakable"
"M. Night Shyamalan season: The Happening"
"Fifty Shades of Grey"

Outtakes Episodes:
"So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show"
"Another Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show"
"The Diminishing Returns 107th Episode Spectacular"

59 - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Films covered in this episode:

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 77%

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 74%

We covered the original Planet of the Apes movies last week, so this week, we're doing the current Apes franchise (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and War for the Planet of the Apes) starring Andy Serkis as Caesar. We also look at Tim Burton's remake because why not?
As always, we cap things off by pitching our own ideas for what a new Planet of the Apes movie could be like.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Episodes in the Planet of the Apes series:
"Planet of the Apes"
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

We review War for the Planet of the Apes in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

You might also enjoy:
"Tim Burton"

58 - Planet of the Apes

War of the Planet of the Apes is out this week, capping off a trilogy of snazzy, modern apes movies, but before the franchise was a surprisingly intelligent and emotionally resonant, it was a load of films in the '60s and '70s about chimp-men with coconut-faces, running around, causing chaos for people like Charlton Heston. We dive into those original films, here, in preparation for our modern P.O.T.A. episode, next week, covering the new movies (and Tim Burton's weird attempt in the middle).

Listen on:
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SoundCloud

Films covered in this episode:

Planet of the Apes (1968)
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 80%

Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 44%

Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 64%

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰
Sol: ✰ ½
Overall score: 37%

Episodes in the Planet of the Apes series:
"Planet of the Apes"
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

We review War for the Planet of the Apes in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

You might also enjoy:
"Tim Burton"

57 - Spider-Man

Diminishing Returns returns to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which, with this week's release of Spider-Man: Homecoming, itself returns to the characters of Spider-Man and Iron Man, last seen in Captain America: Civil War.
This episode takes an in-depth look at Sam Raimi's trilogy of films that helped shape the modern superhero genre (as well as, inevitably, touching on his Evil Dead movies) before getting to The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 and various, cancelled Spider-Man projects.

Listen on:
iTunes
Android
SoundCloud

Films covered in this episode:

Spider-Man
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 67%

Spider-Man 2
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Spider-Man 3
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

Check out the video for the "What Does the Fox Say?" / Anti-Christ mashup featured in this video and click through to check out badbagers' YouTube channel.

The Amazing Spider-Man
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 54%

The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Allen: ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 57%

Episodes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe series:
"Iron Man"
"Guardians of the Galaxy"
"Spider-Man"
"Thor"
"Captain America: The First Avenger"
"The Avengers"
"Ant-Man"

We review Spider-Man: Homecoming in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"

56 - Minions

The Minions are quickly assimilating themselves into all areas of life; films, games, phone covers, shampoo, cereal... and now episodes of Diminishing Returns.

With Despicable Me 3 out soon, we let the Minions take over the show for a week with a look at their spin-off movie and both Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2. As always, we pitch some Minion movies of our own.

Films covered in this episode:

Despicable Me
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 70%

Despicable Me 2
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ✰
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰
Overall score: 60%

A visual representation of Sol's pitch.

Minions
Allen: ✰ ✰ ✰
Calvin: ✰ ✰ ½
Sol: ✰ ✰ ✰ ½
Overall score: 60%

We review Despicable Me 3 in:
"Review of the Year 2017: Part 2"